I have realised that my claim to be a McKay fan may have fallen onto deaf ears: Who's McKay? Or anyway, why him? And this, mind you, not through any fault of anybody's, but because of the particular quality of The Phantom Season... Sgt. McKay, with the little screen time he had, could very well have escaped your attention. First, I'd like to share with all of you the personal way I came to appreciate him. Therefore, what follows is not very scientific. However, I'm also preparing a serious critical essay in which I examine what is objectively interesting about the character, and yes, it will concern O'Connor too... it's quite an endeavour, and I'll let everybody know when it's over!
(It's over. You can find it here: McKay: The Ineffectual Hero.)

     So, let the story begin... At the end of August, 1999, Italian TV was about to air season 6 for the first time. I had never seen "Moment of Truth", I only knew the plot; and having searched the Net to find the DQMW episode guide for my mother, who is a long-time fan, I knew Sully had had a bad moment but would eventually be found and return safely to his family. My mom was at the seaside without a VCR and asked me to tape "Reason to Believe". However I was about to leave for a trip to Paris, so I set the timer. When I came back a few days later, she called to know about the tape, and urged me to watch it. "There's such a nice new sergeant," she told me. She's a sort of talent scout for interesting actors, but lately I have little opportunity to follow serials and TV in general, and so I have no time to take to a character. Anyway I did watch it, because DQMW has always been one of my favourite series, and the idea of a new season thrilled me.

     When I first saw McKay on his horse, in the background of the scene where Matthew stops the fighting soldiers outside the Gold Nugget, I thought, "So what, he looks just like O'Connor". It was the uniform, of course, and that unshaven look with the tendency to sport a slight moustache. Then I had a better look at him as he came closer. First thing that really struck me was his way of walking. A purely physical impression, and one that was not likely to last, because I have no use whatsoever for the macho attitude that usually goes with a macho walk. But the whole picture - big soldier in blue with a rather bland face, blue eyes and sideburns - reminded me terribly of one of Napoleon's Marshals I have a soft spot for. That's another story.

     I was reassured at once about him: I liked his conciliatory way with Matthew. And yet the character was so very complex. From one point of view, he seemed the usual heartless soldier, ordering the search for Sully, moving the Natives about like cattle, paying a spy, forcing Matthew to resign as sheriff. But if you searched between the lines he looked utterly disgusted by what he was doing. Take the scene where Dorothy protests against the transfer of the natives while Preston approves: the cold look he gives Preston tells all. It was all in his eyes and a subtle body language. I was astounded at his ability at non-verbal communication (thanks to David Beecroft's theatre background), which fitted so well in a series where what is unspoken is so important. The nighttime visit to Mike's homestead to tell her that they are calling off the search touched me even deeper: it showed his ability to care, not just to be uneasy about a situation, but to be worried for another human being. This was a difficult, hard-edged man, but a man with a soul, and one I could like very much. Not to mention the beautiful eyes, the kind looks and a very sexy gait indeed.

     "That sergeant is really something," I told Mom on the phone that night. She quoted to me the McKay-Mike dialogue towards the end of MoT: "O'Connor, he does things different from me... just 'cause we wear the same uniform, don't make us the same man" (how uncannily did this recall my first impression of him). I was more and more intrigued by the way his personality seemed to match my fascination for men of duty and honour who are led into trouble by their conscience. As soon as I could, I watched MoT. All that I had glimpsed in RtB was there, and more. His integrity in defending Cloud Dancing and caring for his well-being; his fury, smouldering under the surface, as he faces Mike after the Palmer Creek uprising, eyes blazing and voice barely under control; and despite this, he is put off by Dorothy's and Mike's declaration of ignorance about Sully - another man would have arrested them or menaced them, but you can see the doubts creeping into him. And finally that intense moment with Mike, when he begs her to tell him where Sully has gone, and the way he sticks with her and Dorothy and Wolf to the last. Apart for a little disappointment in his very short, slicked-back hair, I realised he was exactly what I'm always looking for... in a fictional character and, alas, in real life.
     "All That Matters" and "A Matter of Conscience" cemented my affection for McKay. In the eyes of the townsfolk he was the bad guy, just as O'Connor had been. But a few people like Mike came to realise he was honourable and ready to compromise. That made for very interesting relationships with the others - a pity he was on screen so little. The fact that he wasn't perfect endeared him to me even more. That scene in ATM in which he explains his plans to his soldiers under the very eyes of Daniel has me in stitches every time. And in Italian it sounds even more absurd, because there he is, telling all the town where he means to search for Sully, and in the dubbing they have him say something like, "And be discreet!" He may have a pretty face, I thought the first time I saw it, but he sure is dumb! Later I changed my mind, at least about the "dumb" part, and developed a theory about these lapses that goes beyond mere bad writing and forms the base of my "serious" essay, McKay: The Ineffectual Hero. But let's not get too serious here.
     At the end of AMoC McKay promises Mike he'll help Sully. Just like this. All she has to do is go there and ask him, and off he goes to Denver, accomplishing nothing but showing once again how nice and helpful he is. I was already very interested in him by that point, and then something happened which probably made me realise just how much I had grown fond of him. McKay was going to return in "Safe Passage": I knew a little of the plot and nothing about his role in it. Misunderstanding an exchange of posts on the PAX forum, I began to believe he was to be killed off, and went out of my head. (Ann, are you reading this? Please, you know that I don't blame you or MM! My fault, I was still too shy to ask for explanations!) Creatively it was a very good thing, because it inspired many of my stories: it was the first time I was driven to write fiction in a foreign language. My "Balance of Nature" came to be known as "The McKay Resurrection Kit". I waited for "Safe Passage", ready to save McKay immediately from whatever would happen to him... and of course nothing happened to him. I ran into my father's office (adjacent to my flat) exclaiming, utterly dazed, "He's still alive!" I dodged whatever my father threw at me, and went back happily to watch once again the ep, which came to be my absolute favourite. McKay has longer hair... and he finally shows his true allegiance. He refuses to take part in an Indian massacre and is arrested. He has a beautiful scene with Black Moon, comparable in intensity to the one with Michaela in MoT, a moment in which truly his warm, compassionate soul shines through. No matter that with his heroic gesture he managed to put himself in the position to be saved, instead of being the one who saves someone else; this episode sealed my fate.
     The road was to be uphill for a little longer, because I was so paranoid as to believe that he could still get killed off-screen. But this too inspired me some good fanfic, "The Red Needle Trilogy". When, towards the end of September, my long-suffering mother described to me the final episode (I was away once again and bugging her by cell phone), and convinced me that no mention was made of McKay and therefore he was still alive, I drew a deep breath... and began making plans.
     The rest is history. I joined the PAX forum, started getting up in the middle of the night to chat every Saturday (never chatted before), went on pouring into my stories the warmth I feel for McKay and my affection for Sully, Michaela and the rest of Colorado Springs, put up my site all by myself (another first), started getting involved in all kind of creativity - included subscribing to this List - and I don't know what else I may be driven to do. I'm still not sure about what prompted this reaction to a character who is on-screen for less than an hour, all in all (so says my VCR when I pop in my "McKay Moments" compilation), and an actor I've never seen outside DQMW. And beyond this little "diary", I find it very difficult to express my feelings for the character. I think that what many of you feel for Sully, I feel for McKay, and I am a little embarrassed to go deeper into it. After all the explanations I've tried to give above, I think I will never really know why him.
     But then again, who does?

These are the results of a poll that was held in February by the PAX forum. Every contributor had to vote for three male characters. I voted only for McKay because I didn't read the instructions all the way to the bottom (I only saw "Vote", "DQMW" and "Male" and jumped to the keyboard) but many kind friends told me they had thought about me... So, I think what follows is not really scientific!

Total: 80 votes.

Byron Sully (29) 36% Cloud Dancing (9) 11% Andrew Cook (8) 10% Matthew Cooper (8) 10%

Hank Lawson (7) 8% Terence McKay (7) 8% Brian Cooper (3) 3% Loren Bray (3) 3% Robert E. (3) 3%

Daniel Simon (2) 2% Preston A. Lodge III (1) 1% Horace Bing (0) 0% Jake Slicker (0) 0% Tim Johnson (Rev) (0) 0%

On Uniforms, Part Two

This is a snippet of a post by Jazz that appeared on the DQMW List when the McKay episodes were airing for the first time. I almost needed oxigen when I read it. Thanks to Marilyn for fishing it out!

We have McKay saying to Dr. Mike that just cuz he and O'Connor "wear the SAME uniform doesn't make them the same man."  RHEALLY!!!!!!  No wonder those two men were in hardly any scenes together.  Wearing the same uniform, indeed!!!!!!! Is the budget that low they must share uniforms now?????  It's disgusting, I tell you.  And QUITE unhygenic, even for a Goodbody, who's been known to dress in the dark.

McKay's Story