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I Don't Want to Be a Hero
(Johnny Hates Jazz)

This is for me the true McKay song... think about Safe Passage!

Oh, send me off to war
With a gun in my hand
But I won't pull the trigger
Our destiny is here
'Neath the red, white and blue
So lead me to the slaughter

Now don't be afraid
Come and join the parade
For the ultimate in sacrifice
It's an old-fashioned story
Of hope and of glory
A ticket for taking a life

I, I don't want to be a hero
I don't want to die for you
I don't want to be a hero

Oh send me off to war
In a far away land
I never knew existed
Subject me to the truth
To the horror and pain
Until my mind is twisted

And what if I fail
Will you put me in jail
For a murder I will not commit?
'Cos you don't understand
Till there's blood on your hands
That it's time to forget and forgive

I, I don't want to be a hero
I don't want to die for you
I don't want to be a hero

And those who return
Come back only to learn
That they're hated by those who they love
'Cos you don't understand
Till there's blood on your hands
That it's time to forget and forgive

I, I don't want to be a hero
I don't want to die for you
I don't want to be a hero
 
 

Lives In The Balance
(Jackson Browne)

Another possible Safe Passage soundtrack.

I've been waiting for something to happen
For a week or a month or a year
With the blood in the ink of the headlines
And the sound of the crowd in my ear
You might ask what it takes to remember
When you know that you've seen it before
Where a government lies to a people
And a country is drifting to war

And there's a shadow on the faces
Of the men who send the guns
To the wars that are fought in places
Where their business interest runs

On the radio talk shows and the T.V.
You hear one thing again and again
How the U.S.A. stands for freedom
And we come to the aid of a friend
But who are the ones that we call our friends--
These governments killing their own?
Or the people who finally can't take any more
And they pick up a gun or a brick or a stone
There are lives in the balance
There are people under fire
There are children at the cannons
And there is blood on the wire

There's a shadow on the faces
Of the men who fan the flames
Of the wars that are fought in places
Where we can't even say the names

They sell us the President the same way
They sell us our clothes and our cars
They sell us every thing from youth to religion
The same time they sell us our wars
I want to know who the men in the shadows are
I want to hear somebody asking them why
They can be counted on to tell us who our enemies are
But they're never the ones to fight or to die
And there are lives in the balance
There are people under fire
There are children at the cannons
And there is blood on the wire
 
 

Masters of War
(Bob Dylan)

Same as above.

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead
 
 

Private Emotion
(Ricky Martin)

After all that war, a little love. Maybe you think Ricky Martin is too commercial for my Western saga... Can't help it, this song really moves me, especially the final part where the two voices blend... let's consider it as the soundtrack for "The Red Needle"!

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can´t you see
You´re the only one who can shine for me

It´s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as a one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can´t you see me here, how can you deny

It´s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here till your tears run dry

It´s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadow steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
 
 

Telegraph Road
(Mark Knopfler)

This could apply to all of Colorado Springs. But I always thought it was a good soundtrack for my story of the same name, which is not really about a telegraph line, but about the problems of communications between lovers.

A long time ago came a man on a track
Walking thirty miles with a sack on his back
And he put down his load where he thought it was the best
He made a home in the wilderness
He built a cabin and a winter store
And he ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore
And the other travellers came riding down the track
And they never went further and they never went back
Then came the churches then came the schools
Then came the lawyers and then came the rules
The came the trains and the trucks with their loads
And the dirty old track was the telegraph road

Then came the mines - then came the ore
Then there was the hard times then there was a war
Telegraph sang a song about the world outside
Telegraph road got so deep and so wide
Like a rolling river...

And my radio says tonight it's gonna freeze
People driving home from the factories
There's six lane of traffic
Three lanes moving slow...

I used to like to go to work but they shut it down
I've got a right to go to work but there's no work here to be found
Yes and they say we're gonna have to pay what's owed
We're gonna have to reap from some seed that's been sowed
And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
You can hear them singing out their telegraph code
All the way down the telegraph road

You know I'd sooner forget but I remember those nights
When life was just a bet on a race between the lights
You had your head on my shoulder you had your hand in my hair
Now you act a little colder like you don't seem to care...
But believe in me baby and I'll take you away
From out of this darkness and into the day
From these rivers of headlights these rivers of rain
From the anger that lives on the streets with these names
'cos I've run every red light on memory lane
I've seen desperation explode into flames
And I don't wanna see it again...

From all of these signs saying sorry but we're closed
All the way down the telegraph road
 
 

All About Soul
(Billy Joel)

This is Alison herself! Especially during "Telegraph Road".

She waits for me at night, she waits for me in silence
She gives me all her tenderness and takes away my pain
And so far she hasn't run, though I swear she's had her moments
She still believes in miracles while others cry in vain
It's all about soul
It's all about faith and a deeper devotion
It's all about soul
'Cause under the love is a stronger emotion
She's got to be strong
'Cause so many things getting out of control
Should drive her away - So why does she stay?
It's all about soul

She turns to me sometimes and asks me what I'm dreaming
And I realize I must have gone a million miles away
And I ask her how she knew to reach out for me that moment
And she smiles because it's understood there are no words to say
It's all about soul
It's all about knowing what someone is feeling
The woman's got soul
The power of love and the power of healing
This life isn't fair
It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold
You've got to be tough, but that ain't enough
It's all about soul

There are people who have lost every trace of human kindness
There are many who have fallen, there are some who still survive
She comes to me at night and she tells me her desires
And she gives me all the love I need to keep my faith alive
It's all about soul
It's all about joy that comes out of sorrow
It's all about soul
Who's standing now and who's standing tomorrow
You've got to be hard
Hard as the rock in that old rock 'n' roll song
But that's only part, you know in your heart
It's all about soul
 
 

Total Eclypse of the Heart
(Bonnie Tyler - written by Jim Steinman)

And this is Alison's answer...

Turnaround...
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all my years have gone by
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround...
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see  the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes

Turnaround...
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's  nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
 
 

The Quest
(Joe Darion - from the musical The Man of La Mancha)

All right... have a laugh! It's for McKay, for Sully, for all our heroes...

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love, pure and chaste, from afar
To try, when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my Quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To fight for the right without question or pause
To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause

And I know, if I'll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable stars
 
 

Any Dream Will Do
(Tim Rice - from the musical "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat")

This song has a history. It's one of my favourites, and I have already associated it to the crisis of the French soldiers and officers when Napoleon began to think more about war than about the people of France. While that aversion to killing in the previous songs is more typical of McKay than of my Napoleonic heroes, this song fits them and McKay too, as people who saw their dream fade away.

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
Far, far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any dream will do

I wore my coat, with golden lining
Bright colours shining, wonderful and new
And in the east, the dawn was breaking
And the world was waking
Any dream will do

A crash of drums, a flash of light
My golden coat flew out of sight
The colours faded into darkness
I was left alone

May I return to the beginning
The light is dimming, and the dream is too
The world and I, we are still waiting
Still hesitating
Any dream will do

A crash of drums, a flash of lights
My golden coat flew out of sight
The colours faded into darkness
I was left alone

May I return to the beginning
The light is dimming, and the dream is too
The world and I, we are still waiting
Still hesitating
Any dream will do
 
 

On The Turning Away
(Pink Floyd)

This song too is a classic for me. Lately I have dedicated it to Mr. Starbuck, especially to his incarnation in the USA Network TV movie "Moby Dick". I thought it could be just right for McKay too (all my heroes are similar, after all), as another "Safe Passage" song, or maybe a song for "Knockin' On Heaven's Door".

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"

It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting a shroud over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud

On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite in a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerised as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away from the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?
 
 

Knocking on Heaven's Door
(Bob Dylan)

This, of course, gave me the title for my season's finale.

mama take this badge from me,
I can't use it anymore
it's getting dark too dark to see
feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

mama put these guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
that dark black cloud is coming down
feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

mama wipe this blood from my face
I'm sick and tired of all this war
there's a long hard feelin' and it's hard to chase
feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

No Man's Land - Green Fields of France
(Eric Bogle - Sung by June Tabor)

When I first heard this song I was thunderstruck. It's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. It was written in 1976 and here are some info about the author, but since then it became traditional and has been recorded in many versions. The one I have is sung full-throated by a woman, with just a piano to accompany her. It speaks of the First World War, yet it brought to my mind the ending of my Civil War Novel, which has no graveyards or green fields whatsoever, but... but. "Man's blind indifference to his fellow man." I just can hear it rolling over my "end titles", while... you'll see.

Well, how d'you do, Private Willie McBride,
D'you mind if I sit here down by your graveside?
I'll rest for awhile in the warm summer sun,
Been walking all day, and I'm nearly done.
And I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen
When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916,
And I hope you died quick and I hope you died "clean,"
Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er ye as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus?
Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?

And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind,
In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined?
And, though you died back in 1916,
To that faithful heart are you always nineteen?
Or are you just a stranger, without even a name,
Forever enclosed behind some glass pane,
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame?

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er ye as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus?
Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?

Well, the sun it shines down on these green fields of France;
The warm wind blows gently, the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished now under the plow;
No gas and no barbed wire, no guns firing now.
But here in this graveyard it's still No Man's Land;
And the countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned.

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er ye as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus?
Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?

And I can't help but wonder now, Willie McBride,
Do all those who lie here know why they died?
Did you really believe them when they told you "the cause?"
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
For the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame,
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain,
For, Willie McBride, it's all happened again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er ye as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus?
Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?

Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus?
Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?

McKay's Story